I’ve really put writing this blog off for a while because I simply didn’t know how to start or what angle I was planning to take with this. For a while now I had been unsure about how I was going to interweave God into my blog, especially with everything that was going on around me…then it finally made sense.. kinda.
First lets get some definitions out of the way..
Seventh-day Adventist = a Protestant Christian movement distinguished by its observance of Saturday, as the Sabbath, and by its emphasis on the imminent second coming of Jesus Christ, and also the Three Angels Message written in Revelations.
Reclaiming = To retrieve or recover something that was previously lost, given, or paid.
Religion = The body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices.
In Proverbs 22:16, the bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. Now, I’ve been a Seventh-day Adventist for all 20 years of my life… like I literally know no other way of life. I went to an adventist primary school, I studied my quarterly, I even went to all the youth days.. One could say I had a really christian upbringing.
However, if I’m being honest, the lifestyle I have been living has been very different to what its supposed to be. I’ve realised that while I have the upbringing, I wasn’t firm in my faith and I was definitely picking and choosing what I wanted to actually follow. For example, I would keep the Sabbath holy, but I would lie to someone about the smallest thing…
Now at University, you could argue that this is a place should have been the downfall of my Christian walk… and for the first couple of months I was convinced that my walk was fine. I definitely wouldn’t say that university is the reason why I’ve fallen off with my relationship with God, but it has definitely provided me with plenty of excuses as to why I wasn’t going to church, reading my bible or making time for God.
The funny thing is, I wasn’t realising how this was negatively affecting me. Yet on Sunday, I found myself in tears.. literally sobbing and I honestly can’t tell you what started it. I have had so many low days and I was constantly unhappy and part of my life just felt continuously empty. I was in a funk.. I felt like I was making no progression and nothing was making me feel any better. No food, or company from a guy or retail therapy could help me feel the slightest bit better.
In that moment, I felt so alone and I was afraid to turn to God because I hate that I only turn to him when I’m hurt or when I need something. Yet in that moment of despair, I received a phone call and to know that someone was there to ask, “Are you okay?” made me feel so much better.
Yet with God in my life, I could feel like that everyday. I realised that I can be genuinely happy and improve my Christian walk if I just give myself to Him completely. You see, God never forces a person to choose their path, but he encourages us to seek the help of the comforter to lead us in all truth.
Me reclaiming my religion is me attempting to reclaim my wings. I want to experience what life was like before the angels fell, when man and God were in communion and without sin.. but to do so, I can’t remain where I am nor can I continue to be in the grey in my religion.
I know it will be a journey, and not an easy one at that, but I pray that with faith and good people surrounding me I’ll make it into heaven, with my wings intact.
If you feel like you’re struggling or that you don’t know where to start, the Bible will always help you through, and if I can, I will too..