Two years later and I am back relationship ramble-ing (or the lack thereof) and how to keep them thriving, especially with Ms. Rona on world tour.
Since I wrote ‘Relationship Rambles I’ not much has changed.. My age mates are still baby popping, having more anniversaries and a couple of weddings are thrown into the mix, but as I get older that “when will you marry” question just gets more and more triggering.
Now everyone loves a YouTube wedding, but the behind the scenes, the bad days and the petty arguments are never shown and so why rush into something you may not be ready for? Like I said in the last blog, you don’t know what someone is going through in order for us to like their pictures on the gram.
If there’s anything I’ve learnt from all of the two (because we all know nothing before 18 counts) is that not only are relationships compromise, but they are a lot of hard work and a lot of give and take. So before you get into one, you have to make sure you are in a place where you are ready to share yourself with someone else. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t value you, or see the value in you just so you can claim relationship twitter because it definitely isn’t worth it lmao.
While still in no position to preach to those in relationships, I have new experience which has allowed me to come up with some more small tips, that will hopefully help those who are single as well as those in relationships.
1. Words of Affirmation
For some words of affirmation are a huge necessity in relationships or even the talking stage and to be honest, they definitely make a difference in the way you make someone feel. From a message reminding them what they mean to you or just expressing your appreciation, or even saying thank you can make such a difference to your relationship. This includes your relationship with yourself too, by the way, affirm yourself and uplift yourself just as much.
2. Accept Yourself and Your Partner
When you’re dating someone, or even when you’re single – you need to be able to accept your (and maybe even your partners) situation. Where you’ve been, what you’ve done and where you are now because it will help you move forward in life in a way that will enhance your relationship with yourself as well as with someone else. To be able to move to the next level, you need to understand where you are now and be okay with it.
3. Be Honest, With Yourself Too
Life is short, let’s be honest.. and with everything going on in the world it is better to say how you feel than to sit on your feeling or need and suffer in silence. This doesn’t just go for relationships, you can apply this to your life in general. Don’t accept things you’re not happy with and sit there in silence if you’re not happy. Being honest with not only help you be more self-aware but also enable your relationships to be stronger.
4. Maintain a Healthy Balance
Every relationship, talking stage, situationship (or whatever else you describe your situation as) needs that balance between being independent and being dependent. The ability to support each other in a relationship yet still have that your personal boundaries and values is so key to ensuring that the relationship actually works. The best way to integrate this into a relationship is to communicate your needs and boundaries, otherwise it will never really work.
5. Be Self-Aware
Before you even get into a relationship, understanding who you are and more importantly what you want. What are your goals, your dreams or desires? What makes you, you? What are your habits? Being able to find these things out before your next relationship could help you know what you actually want in your partner or even what you bring to the table. Nobody else can complete you, you alone can – so find out who you are.
Again, I hope my rambling made some sense and I hope that these small gems can make a difference… and if you’re single and ready, shoot your shot.. you’re in quarantine, what’s the worst that can happen?
“And yet, O Lord , you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.”