#RelationshipRambles | I’m Addicted to You, Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic?

When we were younger, our parents often told us that too many sweets aren’t good for us. While some of us haven’t really learnt that lesson (I still haven’t, lmao).. Sweets aren’t the only thing that can be bad for us. People can be toxic too. More time some of us are so deep in toxic relationships (be it friendships or relationships), and you don’t even know it.
There are several definitions to the word ‘toxic’ but this one? This is the one.
toxic    [tok-sik] adjective

3. causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious:

a toxic boyfriend; toxic criticism.

Q: So what is a toxic relationship?

A: It is any relationship that may be a disadvantage to you or other people. It is usually characterised by the behaviours of the toxic partner (or friend), which can be emotionally and/or physically draining to you.

More time, most relationships, healthy ones anyway, help ones emotional energy. It gives you the chance to care, respect and have an interest as well as compassion for someone other than yourself. A healthy relationship should also give you the chance to share decisions and control and overall it should be a place where happiness is the desired goal for both people involved.

On the other hand, a toxic relationship, is one that is often full of insecurity, one sided control and dominance. Now there are many types of toxic relationships, and more time the signs that your relationship is toxic can be so subtle that you may not even think of it like that.

Now I can’t tell you how to deal with a toxic partner, because personally I would leave.. but I can give you a few signs that indicate whether your friend, or partner, has toxic behavioural traits..

1. They’re Always Taking, but Never Giving

You find yourself always putting more effort in, giving more than the other person. Now nobody is saying give to receive, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. A healthy relationship should have both parties putting in the same amount of effort, and if someone is always withdrawing from you, maybe it’s best you consider talking to them..

2. They Don’t Trust You

A healthy relationship should have both partners trusting each other. Trust allows for a place for your partner or friend to feel safe, free from ridicule and able to be themselves. Nobody says trust is easy, but without trust a relationship can’t really go anywhere.. If someone doesn’t want to try.. then maybe it’s time to skedaddle.

3. There’s No Room for Communication 

A healthy relationship has healthy amounts of communication. You should be able to express how you feel without fear of criticism or being ignored or doubting your feelings. Allow for opportunities for you and the other person to talk about how you feel, or how something made you feel and well if someone doesn’t allow you to do that? you need to decide whether that’s a situation you want to stay in.

4. They Don’t Support You

You should be able to count on your close friends or partner to support you. Likewise, you should always support your friends and partner with whatever they endeavour into. A healthy relationship should be like having your own personal hype man, cheering you on when you feel less positive about something. Now if you find yourself not being supported by your friend or partner, why stay?

5. They Can Be Quite Envious of You

No two people are the same, and in relationships that’s usually a benefit. However, sometimes having a specific skill that someone doesn’t have can cause them to become envious of you. Shouldn’t having a relationship with someone who has a different skill set to you, allow you both to succeed better? It’s like having a partner who covers your blind spots. If you notice that your friend or partner becomes envious of your ability to do certain things, let them go.

Deciding to leave a friendship or relationship isn’t an easy decision, and it definitely isn’t one that should be rushed when you think it’s time to make that decision. Apply wisdom, consider the other persons feelings and pray about it, always.



“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23. 

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